I’ve noticed some controversy surrounding social progress. Most social progress is celebrated, a few issues are contentious. I’ve also noticed, as I go through life, that it can be popular to disparage youth. The grievances are that youth are lazy or entitled, naive or misguided. Of course that isn’t everyone's attitude, but I have occasionally slipped into this mindset. Luckily, I have had the chance to get to know a number of young people, and most should not be characterized in a negative light.

Our son, Ben, has Down syndrome. Obviously, I have known him his whole life. Watching him grow up has been enlightening. To be totally honest, I was often surprised and impressed at his capabilities. I feel some guilt about those feelings because, looking back, I could have had more confident in his innate abilities. I also love him completely. He is funny, easy to be around, compassionate, and so many other things.

A lot of other people knew what I didn’t know. They knew he’d be competent and weren’t surprised by his abilities. I can confidently say that society accepts him. Especially his peers. For some reason, that has been surprising to me too. I thought he may have a hard time in middle school or high school. Not at all.

When he started school, he met some of the greatest influences he'll ever have. His teachers. They made it their goal and responsibility to teach and nurture students like Ben. They did so with respect and from a place of pure love. They would challenge students because they knew their potential. And they consistently proved their point. But one teacher went further than that.

She advocated for the inclusion of her students, the students in special ed, throughout the school. She didn’t want her children to be isolated. Now that I think of it, she may not have wanted the other children to be isolated. So she would find ways for them to interact. The students who spent time with Ben either accepted him outright, or he gained their approval through contact. Of course it seemed natural to me. If you spent time with Ben, you’d find he was easy to like.

And so it went. Ben made friends and was accepted. We moved across the country when Ben was 13. He was quickly accepted at his new school. We started to realize that people supporting one another is symptomatic of life today. More and more people are readily accepting others, especially others who aren’t considered, “normal”.

A perfect example appeared at the high school homecoming parade when Ben was a sophomore. His friend, who also happens to have Down syndrome, was the homecoming king. Ben was intrigued. He later pronounced that he was going to be homecoming king. I thought, “oh boy!” I encouraged him, but I was nervous. There are a lot of people at Ben’s high school. Would this happen again? Could he be elected king? I wondered if he would remember or if his interest would wain. He remembered and his interest only escalated.

Ben has a lot of friends at his high school. Some of his closest friends are part of a program called Unified. They meet on Monday mornings for an hour before school. The students who volunteer to be in the program are incredible. They come in EARLY ON MONDAYS just to make students like my son feel like part of the group. He made it known that he wanted to be the homecoming king, and they encouraged it.

Fast forward to Ben’s senior year of high school. It’s time to vote for the king. My daughter, a sophomore at the same school, is in class when the teacher gives them time to vote. A guy in the front row turns around and tells everyone to vote for Ben. Another guy says something to the effect of, “but I’m gonna vote for my buddy”. The first guy says, "Nope, you’re gonna vote for Ben. Ben deserves it because he wants it more than anyone.” Our daughter said they didn’t know that her brother was Ben.

Wouldn’t you know, he was elected king. It was amazing! The hype at the pep-fest was incredible. It was a big deal. The high school takes homecoming seriously. The roar from the crowd when they announced him was deafening. All the students on the field rushed in around him. A chant broke out, “BEN, BEN, BEN!”

Ben was in the parade and was announced during halftime at the football game. It seemed everywhere we went people would give him a high-five or shout his name and wave. That was three months ago and Ben hasn’t come down from that high. He looks at pictures, watches videos, and talks about that day. The students gave him the thrill of a lifetime. My impression is that they did it because they like him. He is sweet, innocent, and he loves them back.

It’s so cool how overt the students were about raising him up, “That's our guy!” This is them being progressive. They are more sensible then we were. They know how to be inclusive, they proved it. I try not to focus on the fringe progressive ideology that tends to stir up controversy. It isn’t invading our lives and ruining our culture. I sure don’t see it ruining the youth. Most social progress is fantastic, and I’m glad its happening.

I’ve never seen a ghost. I haven't seen an atom either, but I believe in those. Maybe you need to believe in ghosts before you can see one. I’d really like to see one, but I can’t bring myself to fully believe when the evidence is so scarce. Have you seen the tv shows dedicated to investigating haunted places? I’m gonna need more than that. I have met people who have seen ghosts, they catch a glimpse of something or a door mysteriously opens.

I think ghosts can see us. Well, at least that’s what I’ve heard. I’ve never taken a class but I seem to know a lot about ghosts. They can’t always manipulate the physical environment, but sometimes they can. Not everyone can see them. Some can only be heard. They tend to stay put. Or, more accurately, they usually can’t leave where they are. They walk on the ground and floors, but they pass through doors and walls. They often live in mirrors. Many are created by a homicide. And they’re stuck in one outfit, which is better than being naked (I think).

I have a terrible memory. If a ghost moved the tv remote after I left the room, I wouldn’t notice when I returned. If a ghost knocked something over in the other room, I’d probably figure I had left that thing precariously perched in some ready-to-fall fashion. Dang, maybe ghosts are constantly trying to reveal themselves to me and I’m too dense to notice.

I wonder if a ghost is trying to contact me. Maybe they have found one of those all-too-rare people who can hear them, but they're having trouble convincing them to come and find me. "Yo, I really need to go find my buddy. Can we please head that way today?” And the ghost whisperer is like, “Man I told you, I’m not going anywhere with you. Don’t you watch movies? I’m not gonna get embroiled in some drama. Someone always dies!”

If the ghost whisperer is also a skeptic, they’d be forcing it to prove itself. "Lemme see you move the remote."

Ghost: “I will, but you gotta leave the room first.”

Whisperer: "Dude c'mon, now I know you aren’t real. Just move it right now!”

Ghost: “You don't get it. I can’t just move stuff right in front of you until I’ve moved things without you seeing it happen first. There’s a progression!”

Even if the ghost whisperer finally believes, why not start using the ghost first? There may be hundreds of ghost whisperers out there, each taking advantage of their good fortune to get all manner of things accomplished. A ghost would make an excellent stud finder. Reconnaissance work anyone? If the ghost whisperer happens to be young, um, get the answers to the test please!

I know, I, know. I hear you. The ghost would make your life miserable if you don’t help it. But evil phantoms seem to be confined to certain areas. Good ghosts tend to be able to move around a bit. Run from evil, chill with the good. Plus, who came to who? Good ghosts are most likely lonely. They can finally talk to someone. I’d easily befriend them and engage in all sorts of high jinks. Maybe make a buck or two in Vegas.

The more I think about this, the more it irks me. I need be more open to ghosts being real. I want one.

I remember when diets were advertised on TV. Maybe they are still. I never subscribed to one. My impression is that they were either selling a book or a subscription service. I also remember hearing the hook, “Get off the diet roller coaster”. Fair point. The best diet is measured and consistent, but I love the diet roller coaster.

There came a point in my life when being honest with myself became a priority. As a side note, I’m having second thoughts about that decision. I envy people who live in fantasy land. Anyway, as far as my diet goes, there are times I'm dedicated and times I just don't care. I am not an even-keeled guy. I’m past denial.

Most people have refined speeches about this or that. How they eat. How they act. How they think. I’m guilty of it. In an effort to be more honest, I started amending my own little speeches. “I say this now, but wait five months, I’ll be doing something else".

Blowing with the wind has it’s benefits. When the wind blows hard, it’s fun to go with it. When it’s calm, it’s cool to just lay there. Luckily, for me, the winds shift often. As a result, It seems I have a mean state of health, and the sine wave of my life is predictable. My pants get tight, so my diet gets tight. When my pants get loose... You get the point.

This rollercoaster allows me to be a glutton, and to be an athlete. Some months it’s chips and dip, others it’s 5-day water fasts, weight lifting, and 10,000 steps a day. It’s not for everyone, but I love it. Is this a healthy way to go through life? No. Good thing I got honest about that too. My goal isn't longevity. I go hard, right up until I don’t.

We were a fortunate family. We had a VCR in the early days when they became popular. My mother was fairly liberal with which movies we were allowed to watch. On one hand, she must not have thought the movies were inappropriate. On the other hand, I am the fifth of her six children. So I was allowed to watch the movies my older siblings watched. In her defense, cinema was different. Back then, innuendo was used far more often than overt depiction. It wasn’t until years later, when I rewatched a movie from my childhood, that I would even understand the risque dialogue. Swearing, even in R rated movies was much more reserved.

Some of our favorite movies were replayed to the point of memorization. We would laugh or joke about the scenes. My brothers and I are a playful bunch, so we would work the lines into conversations. Or better yet, re-envision the scene slightly askew. There is something very satisfying about sharing common knowledge. Everyone knows what the other is talking about and appreciates the reference.

Some of our favorite movies were quite obscure. We quoted them most often because they weren’t very good. They were lovingly mocked.

Many years later I saw the movie Proof of Life. As you can imagine, it is about an abduction for ransom. It wasn’t long after I saw the movie that I concocted a daydream about a scenario where one of my brothers was kidnapped for ransom. I became transfixed on one particular aspect of the negotiations. I’m speaking with the kidnapper over the phone and I want a proof of life. For whatever reason, they won’t let me speak with my brother.

Side note, I guess this might even make sense today. Let’s say someone is trying to con you into believing they have a loved one, and you are required to pay a ransom or they will be harmed. I’m not entirely sure I’d believe my ears. We have AI now. What if they used AI to fabricate their voice in a conversation?

In either case, I need proof they have my brother, and he is alive. Using our knowledge of obscure movie quotes, I would ask them to have my brother say the next line following, “That was a priceless Steinway!” Of course, he would reply (in a French accent), “Not anymore.” Or I could say, “Wait! You dropped your phony dog poo.” He would say, “What phony dog poo?”

After I first envisioned this fictitious scenario, I thought about it often. It’s so strange and random, but it makes me smile. I’d be surprised if the kidnappers possess our ability to recite obscure movie lines, so my proof of life would be valid.

If you think this is a strange daydream, I'll give you another example of my random thoughts while musing. It wasn’t long after I met my future brother in law, I randomly mentioned that the letters in his first and last name fit perfectly into the Be Aggressive chant. He asked me, some years later, if I remembered saying that to him. I did, because it’s a great variation on a classic. He pointed out that it was a bit disconcerting at the time.